Thoughts on Application

Many people struggle with the notion that you could be both a Christian and an unschooler. One thought that comes immediately to mind is this one: which principle (or maybe ‘philosophy’ is the better word) is going to take precedence? If unschooling is first, then I will have to compromise on my religious beliefs to be true to it. Alternatively, if my religion is first, then I will have to compromise on unschooling to be true to it.

I think that there is a way of looking at the two different philosophies and finding the commonality in them. For example, for me, freedom and respect for the personhood of a person, are very important values. I find expression of and support for freedom and respect both in unschooling and in Christianity. Hence the idea that it is possible to live as a Christian unschooling family. Yes! Thrashing out the reality is another matter…

If it comes down to brass tacks and I felt pushed into a stalemate where I had to choose between the two, Christianity would come first. This is because there is a sense of allegiance to Jesus as a living Lord, to Whom I have freely given my life, so in that way my choices are now limited. In much the same way as my choices were limited after my marriage to my husband in a way that they weren’t when I was single. So my children did grow up in an overtly Christian home. But I don’t think they felt coerced by this (I actually asked two of them if they thought they were, and they looked at me as if I was crazy). We were always very open about our personal struggles to live the philosophy of peace and non-violence and forgiveness and acceptance and love that Jesus taught, as well as clarifying that we were all God's children, and all of us were under the same requirements. We as parents were not in a different category to our children, even though we had been given authority over them, this authority was an authority of care and protection, not status. And we were very careful never to make them feel, when there was disagreement, that it was us and God against them. 

Unschooling parents say that they prefer to leave the options open for their children on all things. But can any of us honestly say that we do not influence our children in the context of our family culture? We have an identity as a family after all. I don’t think this is wrong. But where I do think there is potential to go wrong is when we don’t leave the option for a particular member of the family to be different – on any issue, be it something as important as religion or environmental responsibility or something as seemingly unimportant as foods to eat, clothes to wear and choice of music. And we must recognize the subtle ways as well as the overt ways of getting people to do what we want, rather than respecting their freedom to choose.

Christianity makes sense to me. So does unschooling. The challenge lies in how to implement the concepts. All around me are people, in many cases implementing one or another of the concepts dear to me. But maybe I don’t agree with their implementation. Or maybe I try to implement something in the way that they do, but within a very short while I can see that it does not work for us. It is back to the drawing board. Honest, rueful, apologetic assessment of where it went wrong. The principle however remains. I am challenged to return again to the principle – study and consider and investigate and above all, personalize, applications that work.

Sandra Dodd speaks of mindful parenting. I really like this phrase. It seems to me that parenting, one of the most important things we will ever get to do in this life, should most definitely be mindful. Not some hit and miss, ‘hope they turn out all right, and meanwhile keep them happy and out of our hair’ endeavour. Rather, a careful, insightful, wisdom-filled and personalised approach. And that means, not just following the crowd; doing what everyone else does, because that must be right. Mindfulness means paying attention. It implies concentration, focus, and deliberate action. No two children are alike, and even in the same family, the education must be adjusted and tailored to fit the child. And so we want to avoid rules on how to do things, but discover principles that we can apply flexibly as needed.

My hope is that this website helps  interested home-educating Christians to gain deeper insights into the difference between the real have to's (of which there are actually very few) and the many societal and cultural and religious expectations that pose as have to's. I am always saddened by the idea so prevalent amongst Christians that a good and Christian education equals force and control in the name of ‘character building’. The longer we live unschooling, the more I realise that the similarities between secular and Christian expressions of unschooling are much greater than the differences. However, the differences are important, and can cause a lot of confusion. Enough to stop people exploring the possibility of taking hold of the freedom that is theirs. This always seems a terribly sad thing. Gal 5:1 comes to mind.

So I have tried, am trying to create a context in which people can explore these important differences, and discover that yes, they can unschool their children and still live as Christians, ie that there is no compromising required.